


I'm Not Leaving

by MaddieandChimney



Series: 911 Week 2020 [6]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Other, tw: mentions of domestic violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:01:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25259647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaddieandChimney/pseuds/MaddieandChimney
Summary: 911 Week Day 6 - "I'm not going" + AngstIn the aftermath of Doug, Buck refuses to leave his sister's side.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Maddie Buckley
Series: 911 Week 2020 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1823050
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30
Collections: 9-1-1 Tales





	I'm Not Leaving

Buck has never been so terrified in all his life, from the moment he found Chimney on the ground outside his sister’s apartment, right up until then, holding her hand in his as she sleeps in a hospital bed. He’s exhausted both physically and emotionally but he knows it’s nothing in comparison to how she’s feeling right then, forcing his eyes to stay open as he grips onto her hand a little tighter. He can’t tear his eyes from her, reminding himself that she’s alive, she made it through.

“ _I didn’t give up.”_

The words she uttered when he found her, when he caught her just in time before she hit the snow-covered ground, continue to echo through his head over and over again. It’s torture, wishing she never had to suffer a single second more than she already had in the time she had spent married to him. He’d take every single second of pain she went through, not only in the past twenty-four-hours but the past sixteen years.

There’s a rage bubbling inside him, the kind that wishes he had got even a moment alone with Doug, that he could have taken the guilt away from his sister and done what needed to be done. Because Maddie is too good, she’s too kind, caring… he knows her better than he knows anyone, and it doesn’t matter what her husband did to her, it doesn’t matter that she was fighting for her life, she still feels guilt for that man. Buck isn’t sure he would feel the same if he had done what she had.

Maddie’s hand flinches in his own, her eyelashes fluttering as her shallow breaths fill the otherwise silent room. It takes barely a second for him to stand up, one hand still holding hers as his other presses gently to her forehead, watching as her face scrunches up in a mixture of anxiety and pain. “It’s okay,” He whispers, even if he doesn’t know that it’s true, he doesn’t know if she’s ever going to be okay again. He doesn’t even know if Chimney will be, the family of the stranger in the gas station definitely would never be okay again and even Doug’s family will at least be feeling somewhat of a loss for a man who doesn’t deserve anyone’s sadness. “it’s going to be okay.”

Buck wants to believe those words, he wants to be able to look his big sister in the eyes and tell her that this is temporary. This… pain and suffering she’s feeling is just for right now, and even if it takes five months or five years, at some point, she’s going to feel okay. He brushes her hair from her clammy forehead, tears stinging his own eyes when he stares down at her pale, bruised and cut-up face. He tortures himself as he thinks about every punch, every slap, every… every single thing the man who was meant to love her put her through.

He feels as though he’s going to throw up just thinking about it. When her eyes finally open, he forces a smile on his face, “There we go, you’re okay.”

“Buck?” Maddie seems confused for a moment, looking around the room until it all comes flooding back and she takes a deep, trembling breath. Her hand in Buck’s tightens, gulping down the lump that rises in her throat

“That’s right, I’m here.”

She’s been in and out of sleep for over twenty-four-hours since he found her, only waking from Doug or Chimney filled nightmares. Whimpering and letting him hold her until she falls back asleep, only to wake back up a few hours later. This time, she pulls her hand from his, shaking her head. “You should go, you can’t… you look tired, and you can’t just stay here. I don’t know how long…”

He’s quick to shake his head, “I’m not going.” He moves his hand back into hers, sinking back down in the chair where he’s barely moved from since being allowed in to see her. “I’m not leaving you.”

“You’re my little brother… sh-shouldn’t see… shouldn’t see me like this.”

“I’m your _brother_ and you’d be sitting right where I am right now if this was the other way around.” He hates the way tears fill her tired eyes, watching as they hit the pillow before he takes a deep breath and scrapes the chair as close to the bed as he possibly can.

“M-my fault. Knew… knew what would happen…” Buck flinches, but it’s not the first time in the past day since she’s expressed that she thinks it’s her fault. He clings onto the hope it’s just the painkillers talking, alongside the tiredness.

It’s a conversation for another day, so he only shakes his head and squeezes her hand. “I’m not going anywhere, I’ll leave this hospital when you do. So, you just close your eyes and try to sleep and when you wake up, I’ll still be here. I love you, Mads.”

Her shoulders slump, her eyes falling to a close, but her thumb brushes along the back of his hand, “Love you too, Evan.”


End file.
